starting Airport job hint JOB

Because I am quiet does not mean I have an attitude more than likely  I am just serious and sometimes I do not want to talk I rather watch and analyze things. I notice I have checked out/gave up partially of life as if I am burned out I pretty much have a whatever way I go about things. A whatever door open it will open. I do not put much effort into things anymore not sure if that is a good thing or bad thing. I am not sure how my life going to turn out anymore sometimes I just go ahead and describe myself under the word lost maybe I am just overwhelmed. It is probably because I had to reroute and now I am thinking its not possible due to time/financial reasons. I know I will get to that celebration phase but, the question is when? The confliction I have leave me where I can't plan perfectly and strategic. I will do this life on my own time.

There is this school that wants me to attend this Fall I saw hope for it but, now I do not know how I am going to work it out. It seem nice because it is in a different area so I get to be away and see new things and kind of get a new change of surroundings that could possibly inspire me! In retrospect I do not want to be a failure either.

I could throw my life away and join the military, I could move...she's about to disappear I am really good at that...decisions-decisions... until I get that door knocking in my head like hello what are you doing?! " I am just going with the flow." Is there something wrong with that?

Sheesh I never have I been so gone like this I practically do not do much in my day and feel accomplished. I used to live my life loaded of things in my planner I lightened that up months ago it is kind of refreshing but, wrong timing I really need to just buckle down but, she need a break/revival.


THE GOOD OF WORK
It is a blessing to have what I have now. I'm learning how to be more vocal and face anxiety of abundance of people I learn so many skills working where I work at.
THE BAD OF WORK
 I go to work people keep talking about the new changes and honestly I could care less I just come to work and wing it they talk like their about to stay at  the job for retirement its better out there you just need a foot in the door to see. I am use to better it may not have been great but, once you had a certain you get spoiled its hard to go back it works on your psychologically. I cannot see myself at that company solely for many years she just came to do her duties to the best of her abilities and clock out. People go to work to see how many they can know and impress I just go to be on time and keep it moving. {even though I found one interesting thing} One day those people are not going to see me anymore I am trying to remain on the low a woman need to broaden her horizons that is not the place for growth it takes too much out of me. I will not have anything left out of me when I get to my real career. She will continue to be where I am at now if I continue to stay. I don't like the disrespect there too its only so much I will take before I give what you give back I am trying to prevent that from happening. It is grown men more than half my age up there and I already consider myself old at that, they will challenge the twenty year old women like its okay. Where they get their home training from? You can not bite your tongue it is a problem or you can take the out the other ear method and still get ridicule for being whatever. Work is a trip you all can have all that. I will stay under obligations because I am an adult and have bills but, I see destination of light beyond that 55 lot portable door and Krono system.

6/9/2015 (In the drafted section)
3/3/2017 Joe Worst Case Scenario
Interesting, I barely even started and knew what it was. Was not a good company. I sure get that bad end of the stick.It was beyond me. Can't ever catch a break I guess.I truly was not the issue just one of those unfair uncertainties. "Just another beautiful day for the BS." The worst because of the levels it went up to.